Negotiating is trading, not conceding
In my last article I highlighted that interests matter: understanding what you and the other party actually want from a negotiation.
This seems obvious because, ultimately, we need to satisfy enough of the other party’s interests if we are going to come to an agreement. But this raises the question, what are they willing to give to satisfy their interests, and what might they value differently from me?
Considering how value is considered differently is particularly important when dealing across the public-private sector boundary, and in cross-cultural negotiations.
That creates opportunity. Don’t think of negotiating in terms of what will I concede to get what I want? Instead think: what I have got that’s important to them, that I can trade for something more important to me?
I may be able to give you something that matters greatly to you but costs me relatively little. In return, you may be able to give me something I value highly but which matters less to you.
That’s where negotiation becomes interesting. Someone has to recognise the opportunity. Someone has to construct the trade. Someone has to find the words that test an idea without unnecessarily committing to it.
The concepts can be taught. There are processes, techniques and even a language that help us structure a negotiation. But getting it right requires more than process.
Negotiating well requires ingenuity, agility, and a willingness to work with ambiguity. It is most definitely not the classical: “Here is my position, here is theirs, how far am I willing to move?”
This short video, picked out of some of the development we did for Kiah, uses an ordinary example recognisable by many of us: selling a house.
It explores the interests of the buyer and seller and introduces some of the language widely used. Knowing the vocabulary helps you follow a plan, communicate with your team, and assess where you have ended.
By the way, most house sales today are done through a real estate agent, acting for the seller. This is a common practice in other fields and is referred to agent-based negotiation. Spend a few moments thinking about the interests of the agent. They may not be quite the same as the vendor, their principal.
Next time, I’ll look at how varying negotiating approaches developed, and how you might apply them.
